im just happy this morning- thought id tell you about it :)

Yesterday I shared a cab with a guy from work. he's really into the whole-food scene and is kind of a "new-age" health and fitness guy- really into yoga and working out every second of the day and only eats raw stuff. i don't know the guy well, but eveything I've heard about him is kinda hippy (refers to everything as energy "her negative energy just started affecting everything" "the fly energy in here is massive" etc). well-turns out he is a seriuos negative nancy! he went on for 20 minutes or so on all the things he doesn't like about being here and why he can't wait to go home. he had a pretty long list- and it was so nice to listen to because I realized how happy i really am to be here, how happy i'd be to be anywhere-
so, here's my list of things that I like about living here:

telling cab drivers where to go in chinese "wo qu auchaun, ren hou ta qu tali fu"
fresh fruit and young coconut water
my beautiful apt and my ayi who cleans it for $30 a month
TRAVELING- thailand in february, philippines in may, africa in july and all over china in between!
walking to work
power house gym
my students
knowing how to sing happy birthday in 5 languages
thinking in RMB
daydreaming about home
singing outloud in the streets because no one understands me anyway and is already staring
talking about whatever i want at restaurants because no one will "overhear" and get offended!
the "expat community"
sitting in my awesome bed watching it rain and wearing my new china sweatpants- so comfy, i'm never taking them off- and other homey activities

there is too much to tell all of it, but i think the biggest thing i love about being here is feeling like everything is so much more possible- i can go to africa this summer- i can move there in two years if i want. i can backpackthrough europe or spend next summer in new zealand. i can save tons money or give everything away to a chinese orphanage. i can do anything- everybody can do anything- but being over here, i really FEEL it.
its pretty powerful

What good is a happy childhood to you anyhow?

Today I went to a meet-the-author at the new bookstore in downtown Suzhou. He reminded me of that always reoccurring theme that true art comes only out of suffering. As if unhappiness gives birth to truth and ideas that a happy past simply cannot produce. I have heard it said that people who have not suffered have nothing to say worth saying- meaning not that the only things worth saying are the miserable, unhappy events of one’s life, but more that realizations, great epiphanies of thought and philosophy arise out of the state of mind suffering puts you into. I’ll admit, I find myself baffled by this theory.

On the one hand, I do tend to gravitate towards books that describe someone’s rise out of hardship- books that rip at your heart or your mind as you struggle with the characters to overcome whatever demons may be rummaging through their lives. Though now that I write it down, I realize that it is not the struggle I appreciate, but the achievement. It is the opportunity to share in the triumph of a character that makes me fall in love with a story. Even so, would these stories of personal victories be convincing if told from the mouth of a cheerful ex-volleyball team captain? A woman spawned from a successful marriage and raised in a home filled with snicker doodles and Christmas trees?
It is certainly depressing to think that a happy woman, however clever and creative, is simply incapable of producing the literature she enjoys most. Perhaps it is so depressing that if you thought on it long enough, you might just be able to squeeze some quality prose out of the experience.